I have been living together with my bf for 3 months now. Right now I have caught my bf more than once that he was flirting with some girls online. He posted online that he was looking for sb.';just for fun';. He messaged some girl that they would meet for sex. I never actually catch him doing that, so I don't know if he has really put it into action. My first reaction was to break up with him, but then I think I would lose him to other girls. I hate him, but I have this motivation to win him back...maybe it just doesn't work between us...So has any of you done one of the options I listed above? How was the result?Deal with cheating, to drop the relationship or to fight for it?
ok well i am sort of in the same situation you are in. i have been dating this guy for about 4 months, and we are definitely serious about eachother. i can't even begin to describe the chemistry/connection between us. anyways, he ended up cheating on me, because he thought that i was hooking up with other people.
first, i think that was very immature move of him because he should have came to me and asked me for a straight answer, but he didn't. he just acted irrationally and cheated on me, and now regrets it entirely, and we are trying to work things out...
part of me wants to believe in ';once a cheater, always a cheater';, but i can't do that. i forgive people, and try to give them the benefit of the doubt, trying to accept his reasons for why he cheated on me. he's proven that he wants to gain my trust back and how sorry he is.
now don't get me wrong, i dont want to come off as being naiive at all. i know what i'm getting myself into. like i said before, part of me wants to believe ';once a cheater, always a cheater';...so yes, it will be in the back of my mind that since he did it once, there is a chance he will do it again. but i'm not the type of person to give up on something wonderful because of one mistake. granted, if it happens again, i'm out...no more chances. and yes, it's probably easier said than done right now, because i do have such strong feelings for him, but i know that if i were in his shoes, and i was truely sorry, i would be so grateful for a second chance if he gave me the opportunity.
i dont think you should break up with him, by going with your first reaction. honestly i think you should confront him about the things you have been seeing online, and how his actions and behaviors towards other girls are making you feel. then, you should ask him why he feels the need to tell girls he'll meet up with them for sex....confront him and see if he's unsatisfied with the sex life between the two of you. another thing you could try is trying something new with him, like getting some sexy lingerie or some toys to spruce up your sex life and reel him back in so his eyes are not wandering or wondering what else is out there. but honestly i think you should just talk to him first.
in the end, it's all up to you about what to do if your man cheated....personally i belive that there are different circumstances under which rules should be bent...thus i am not a total firm believer in ';once a cheater, always a cheater';...also, if you do decide to fight for the relationship, it's not going to be a quick easy fix. you both need to work on trusting eachother, honesty, connection, etc. know the risks that you are getting yourself into by continuing the relationship, and make sure that you are somewhat prepared of it happening again, and be strong enough to leave him if it DOES happen again. people make mistakes. i believe that it should be forgiven, but forgiven once. if he's stupid enough to do something stupid again, he should lose you. his loss not yours.
good luck!!
p.s. do you think you or anyone else could help me with my question?? no one's answered it yet and i'm DYING for advice =)
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>Deal with cheating, to drop the relationship or to fight for it?
yayy that's good to hear!
my man just asked me back last night...and now i have to be really cautious about not letting it happen again and trusting him..
good luck!
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talk to him about his feeling for you, because as awful as it sounds it doesnt sound like he has a great deal of interest in you. But do not go and cheat or dump him before talking to him first, if you love him you should try and fight for your relationship and make it work.
Break up with him. Move on and find a good man that wants YOU and only YOU. (He is out there!)
Why would you want to save a relationship with a cheater?
You cannot change him. He will always be the way he is. There is no race to ';win';... Let him break their hearts, be smart enough to save yours.
A guy that cheats will never learn, he will always cheat. You deserve much better, and trust me, there's better out there.
Why should he deserve you? why should you waste your time on him, trying to save a relationship which he will probably go out and ruin again.
Sorry to be so to the point, but you cant be nice guys like this!!! good luck with whatever you decide to do.:)
Listen, he will NEVER change and he will always keep looking for someone else.
Do you want to live with that horrible insecurity feeling in the pit of your stomach for the rest of your life? No! Of course not. You deserve to be with someone who makes you feel secure.
Take it from someone who had to learn this lesson the hard way!
don't fight for him he obviously wouldn't fight for you if hes cheating with other b******, you really don't deserve thattttttt you can do sooooo much better and someone who respects you and is willing to prove and fight for YOU !
GOOD LUCK[=
If you feel you can trust him again and love him then fight for it but once a cheat always a cheat is the moto.
Good Luck.
Help me please anyone:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>
Dump the B*****D, I think you could and should do better.
Let some one else get all the misery that comes with having a relationship with him. He is scum and you are the doormat that he wipes his shoes on.
DROP HIM!!! DO NOT BE A DOORMAT!!
i got cheated on once, and i dropped him. this was a few years ago, and he is still a cheater.
do not be a doormat! stand up for yourself!
um, who cares if he hasn't actually done it? He intends to. Obviously he has NO respect for you whatsoever. Break it off now before you get hurt anymore.....
I would never stand for cheating. once a cheater, always a cheater.
you should never deal with a cheating partner. I know you've heard the old saying...';once a cheater, always a cheater.';
if it is a good relationship with the one you love i would fight for it but if the cheating continues i would drop it
I think you should leave him if he's cheating on you.
You just break up with him. Why save a relationship with a man-skank? And two wrongs don't make it right, so end it.
Fight for it !!!!!! : ]
Why would you fight for a jack a ss?
Unload this loser!
fite it out!
what's your worth?
i wud break up wid him ... he doesn't appreciate u 4 who u r ... dump him
I'll talk to her and giving more chance's GOD always forgive us
dump him! he could be bringing you home diseases such as HIV or herpes! it's not worth it.
I say option #1, before you get hurt. Whether he's actually cheated or not, the desire to do so is there based on what you've said. #2 might work, if you want to try and make it work...try talking to him about it, but I can tell you that option #3 is not a good one BECAUSE you'd be damaging yourself in the process of trying to get back at him. It would be easier to just leave than to use people and sex as pawns in that game. If it came down to that, you each obviously wouldn't care about the other much anyways so it wouldn't be worth it to even stay together.
I just posted this question not to long ago, I ended up staying because my guy deleted his page and sincerely apologized. I thought about it long and hard. I have to admit it affected our trust, but I didn't want to lose a great guy over the internet. Also, I would have felt like a hypocrite breaking up with him over something I have done before. What I mean by that is I am also guilty of flirting over the net, just not stupid enough to leave my page open for him to find. Even though I flirted, I did not have any intent on hooking up with any of the guys I flirted with. So he may have been doing the same thing, passing time. I was still mad though.
Oh my god, I can't even believe you have to ask this question. Is your self-esteem so low that you actually believe you should have to put up with that? He's a dog, leave him! Ladies, the more we all put up with sh*t, the more we are silently approving of and condoning being cheated on, lied to etc. Please, at least for my sake and the sake of other women who want men to know that this behavior is unacceptable, put your god da*n foot down and get out!
DBoss - even if it were only for sex, that doesn't make it acceptable. I'm tired of men using evolution and their gender as an excuse to cheat. We ALL have urges - some of us also have this thing called will power. Don't blame it on hormones etc., cheating reflects a lack of forsight, perspective, willpower, and many other things.
LOL, I am acutally going to talk about this subject with my best friend when I get off work. He is 40 and I am 33
I am dealing with that as well, but we have been together for 1 year and he moved in in Jan fo this year. Now, I have access to his email and bank acct (online) and yes he has been responding to women and all that. Even has the girls emotional attached to him. They text him, I have read them and I know that if it was me...he would FREAK out!! So what I did was, created a fake email addy and sent him an email pretending to be someone else. And yes, he responded, like he remember her fromt he past and all that...(dumb a**...lol). My intension is to get him to meet ';her'; and showing up instead. I know that men have this ';stroke my ego'; thing.....sometimes I do. And I also know that they are more physical then emotional, thats its so easy for them to sleep with another woman and go home. I want to fight for it, becuz he is AWESOME and we have alot in common. But I hate the way I am feeling.....very vulnerable. I did a pros and cons list and the cons won.....but I am still struggling. Hopefully talking tonight may help.........its definitely going to take a strong woman to deal.
Yes, I've cheated on my girlfriend.
Yes, she threatens to leave me.
Yes, we work it out because she want so save the relationship.
Yes, I'll behave for a couple of weeks, then I'm back in the hunt.
These are the best women to string along. It works out well for me.
If my girlfriend does decided to leave me, I'll find another one. There are plenty of needed women out there that want me and they will gladly forsake their dignity and pride to have me. It's a great world.
Your type of woman is definitely my favorite to take advantage of.
well if you know he plans on meeting someone else for sex then id say dump his ***!
my bf cheeted on me but it was just kissing the other *****.
nothing like sex.
he was my 1st and id drop his *** if he thinks he can **** another girl and get away with it.
a friend of mine found out from a number of ppl that her bf was messing around with another girl and my friend, she's preagant with his second child.
she can't really find any good evidence that he has cause all she has is what ppl are telling her.
she finds other ppls numbers in his phone and calls them and she see's if it's a girl and it turned out there were several girls he was talking with and trying to hook up with.
there was one she knew and she was married so she got her husbands phone and told him to tell his wife to stop calling her bf.
shes seperated from him right now and she due in Aug. with his second baby.
he don't help her with anything, no money no nothing.
and she's still trying to work things out after....almost 5 years i think.
i keep tellin her to leave his *** but she doesnt seem to wanna listen.
so i guess you should dump him.
Women are so dumb when it comes to this. Men cheat for different reasons then women do. When a man cheats, it's just for sex. When a women cheats, it's totally different. They cheat to make a man feel bad or because they don't love the guy their with.
First off, if you know he loves you then you have nothing to worry about. You are the only one who has his heart. Make sure you fight to save that relationship but talk to him about it. Tell him you know and ask him how he feels. If he doesn't want to lose you, then he loves you.
He's only having sex with these other girls out of lust. A women may stop a man from having sex with other women, but a women will never stop a man from being attracted to other women. I don't care if you are a America's next top model, this is just how men are built.
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