How do couples recover from cheating?

looking back at the relationships i have had,i have realized that cheating is one of the most devastating things you could do to someone who loves you, i have been cheated on a couple of times and the scars i got from them are still with me even to this day,somehow i feel that been cheated on is a lot like been raped,no matter how hard you try you will forever be left with the question why, and those scars that you get along the way end up shaping who you are, this question is directed to those couples that have had to deal with cheating but someohow managed to overcome it and stick together....how did you do it and what were the challenges you faced on the road to recovery?How do couples recover from cheating?
It depends on the circumstances, really. Not everyone can recover. I was cheated on while engaged to my college sweetheart - and he got her pregnant. That scarred me for years, and I left him immediately. When I was pregnant and married, my husband cheated on me. I didn't get over it until I cheated back several years later. We (after a year of counseling) found our way back to each other. Seriously, it really depends on both people and how much they want to rebuild the relationship. I feel lucky that we were able to do it for the sake of our child too. We are happier than we have ever been. The challenges are making time for each other, rebuilding trust, and remaining committed to working it out. It is a long road back, and not everyone can handle it.How do couples recover from cheating?
They Dont.
I forgive my hubby when he was cheated on me....while nobody is perfect....
I dont think you recover..you just deal with it...everyday
I think it's very hard and what you feel is very humane. But as I grow older, though I still think cheating is totally wrong and have never done it, going through some patches of life, I have more understanding for people who cheat. Sometimes they're weak, sometimes their heart sways, sometimes it's fatal attraction, sometimes we never know why. But what I have learned importantly is that it's not about you. They have their personality traits that make them do things like that and you happen to be their partner/spouse. It has nothing to do with you. I know your ego hurts but when it comes down to the truth, a lot of the time (other than you two really have some problems), it's really not about you. So stop punishing yourself and slowly learn to develop the empathy for them. You know, there is a saying, you gotta hurt yourself first before you do so to others. I think talk to a experienced/specialized therapist, develop loving kindness for yourself as well as for your partner who cheats and ultimately, learn to forget and forgive them is the route that is going to be helpful to you. Once you forgive, the scar may still be there that is visible and tangible, but it won't hurt. Good luck to you for your future peaceful path!
wow..i hope you get responses because my BF cheated or almost cheated he said he didnt but i dont believe him..anyway it has been 7 months since this happen and for the life of me i cant forget i want to know why..what made him decide to do what he did..and the thing that kills me is that if i try now to gets answers he will tell me listen we spoke about this before and i dont want to talk about again..so even if i am still in pain he will not want to talk about it..but you are right about one thing it like being rape..the pain the emotional pain the thoughts that go through your head eats away at you..i know that i will never forget never what he did..yes we are still together but there is not a day that goes by that i feel pain and betrayal and i dont trust him 100%..he has lost all trust from me..also Lisa is right when there were times if i called hima nd he dint answer that was first thing i thought OMGFG he is with another chick..and i would call and call..and one day i called an he didnt pick up i must have called him 32x and thats when i knew i was going insane..it does take over the realtionship..or when he looks at other women..i say to mysef will he cheat again...and i stay because i love him and care for him and have faith and hope that everything will be fine with us and that he grows up and see that not everything has to be about other women what about apprecaiting the women who loves you and who cook for you and washes your clothes and who would bend backwards for your azz...
you never get over it its always there i say i ignore it but everytime something goes wrong it comes back up everytime he cant be reached thats the first thought i'm not angry with him anymore i'm angry that it has taken over the relaionship it never goes away because now i look for it so i dont get hurt like that again so it consumes the relationship and you stay together so you dont have to start over at least you know this person and now you know what the signs are for that person to cheat
calgon
YOUR right it hurt like hell but it depend on the couples and if the relationship has enough good times to out weight the bad.Because with out balance and enough trust you mind well hang it up. You will never be able to get over it.
it depends on how much you love that person and how much you are willing to forgive. one time, maybe. if it keeps happening you are better off moving on instead of getting your self esteem destroyed.
cheat again till no one cares
Think the best way is to leave, find something new and keep living life in search of that perfect love
I wish I knew. Good luck. Maybe it depends on how involved the affair was. ? :( sorry
I honestly don't think anyone can recover from something like that. once a cheater always a cheater. I could never forgive and forget thats not how I play, but for some it dosen't seem to bother them. They forgive, and then it happens again. I think they like being door-mats. rather then find someone who will be true to them.
I didn't when i had enough i left.
well! I have been cheated on by my my girl and best friend in my aunt's house, on my uncle's recliner. M woman and first cousin cheated on me next at a stop light. I then caught my supervisor of 5 years in the act at the office with my woman on top the copy machine. The way that I dealt with these issues is forgive and forgetting.
vibrator, vibrator, and more vibrator,





j/k





everything takes time, not to mention forgiveness, for themselves, and their spouses. I wish i had more info for you.
My husband supposedly cheated on me with his brothers wife. There is no proof of this and she has been known to tell lies to split people up. Before she even said they'd had an affair, there were already problems going on because she is a ***** to everyone in the family. I still wonder and it hurts like you said as if you've been raped ( I have been raped), the feeling is much the same. I had never heard it compared like that before but, you are right. It kind of makes it worse because I have no proof that he did it but, I have no proof that he didn't. I love him and refuse to let this end our marriage and break apart our family. If I knew for sure that he did it, I would leave him. No doubt in my mind about that. As of now, I am working hard to rebuild my trust in him. Hopefully, in the end, we will be even stronger than before.
GOD knows I wish I had the answers for you. I do not know if my husband cheated or not (says he did not) but it is in my gut that something happened if not physical it was emotional. It eats at me day and night NOT knowing and thinking the worst. I love him and do not want to throw away 12 years, but I am getting stronger everyday and taking it one day at the time. We may or may not make it, but I am going to give it my BEST efforts and pray that we can pull through this and be happy. I am 40 and life is too short to be unhappy....good luck baby !
Youre better off just looking for someone else. Im a cheater and dont think i will stop soon. one reason i dont get in a relationshp cause i dont want to hurt anyone. so just find a person that wont cheat