My fianc茅e cheated on me for a few months and i found out about it then she confessed to the whole thing.She slept with the guy repeatedly but says it was a mistake and cant stop apologizing.I love her and I want to take her back but im on sure whats the best way to do that.Should we give it some time,take sometime off apart while I try to heal from this disappointment or continue to talk to her while we try to work things out.I am trying to shut her out while getting my thoughts together but is that a good idea?I want examples and experiences on how you guys dealt with this kinds of situations.how much time do i need to get over this?Sometimes I just thought of giving it all up because she slept with the other guy for a few months while I was away and continue to lie about it until she got caught.My thought is if i just forgive her right there it will seem so easy for her and there is the likelyhood that it will happen again.Please help,confused.Dealing with cheating and betrayal/forgiveness or not?
In my experiences, I use to date this guy for about 1 yr and a half and I found out that he has been seeing my ex best friend for quite a while now; it was a rough time and even though he apologize constantly and admit that it was a mistake and he wants to work things out, it wasn't easy to just forgive him, the fact that he never told me and that he betrayed me. I avoid contact from him for about 3-4 weeks to gather up my thoughts and see if the betrayal can be put aside; it's really frustrating actually and I was so confused and didn't know what to do. But during those week, I realize that he lied throughout our relationship and that he never even called me once during those 4 weeks. I found out shortly that he was still seeing her behind my back, and my decision came to a conclusion that it was time for me to move on....
As for your situation, I think she should have told you instead of lying her way until she got caught. I think you do need to take a break from her and gather some thoughts and see if your relationship can work out. I really think that it might happen again, since she did slept with him repeatedly. I honestly believe that your relationship can be fix, but, as she proves that she is now loyal and honest with you over time. If not, then the best thing to do is move on, you deserve better. Best of luck.Dealing with cheating and betrayal/forgiveness or not?
Once a cheater, always a cheater. If you believe in god, then you know what it means if someone cheats on you. You are not even married and only engaged, she 's already doing that. Imagine when she married to you?? how many times are you going to forgive her and forget? can you see yourself making love to someone you love having sex with another man too??? think about it.
I agree with Tess.. and get it all sorted out now before you get married!
Here is the quick answer....if it was your fault[so to speak] that she 'fell'? into an affair[because you were not showing her love or attention before you had to go], then I would say yes, maybe she really is sorry and lost her way for a moment.
But, if you had a good trusting, fulfilling relationship, and she just went ahead and did this....then it will most likley[for sure] happen again.
Only you know if you two were really close and you were meeting her needs.
[not saying she should have done it anyways, dont get me wrong on that]
I don't know why should us men put up with this ****!!! Like had you ever cheated on her when you were with her?!! well if you had ever did then an eye for an eye and both of you aren't really good and decent people, but there's no need for you to accept such an apology because she's not a child and she's mature enough to know that this is WRONG!! you loved her and you were kind to her and wanted her to be your wife and STILL she betrayed you!!! Cheating is simply betrayal, you should stancd up for your diginity and fight for your honour.There are many women out there who are decent enoough to be faithful and loyal to their husbands,so best answer is you dump the unfaithul b*tch and find yourself a better person while you are still just engaged.
Did she say why she did it? Did you do something to push her away and did she cheat on you with some random guy or was a friend I dont believe once a cheater always a cheater. there people out there are sincere about being sorry and it never happening again. My wife recently cheated on me and i do believe she is sorry and it will never happen again. Not saying you chould forgive her but if you havent already done so you to have alot to talk about before you are ready to be married
1) Is she still cheating on you? Are you sure of this ?
2) Get the ring back. She was obviously not ready for a commitment.
3) Do not live with her if this is the situation. Have her move out or you move out. This is going to take some time and ';Time will tell.';
4) Get test NOW at the Health Department for the FULL panel of sexually transmitted diseases and make sure they do the IgM and IgG for Herpes 1 and Herpes 2. Some people don't know what they have.
In light of this, do NOT have sex with her or stop if you are. Are you not seriously concerned ???
5) Ask if she will go to counseling. Go. Find out why she did it. See if you have issues as well.
6) Once counseling is started, see how you want to proceed with the relationship, saying having 2 dates a week w/o the sex. Get to KNOW her. Have some control and self respect. Intimacy will come with trust and time.
7) Expect not to trust her for a long, long time. She must earn your trust. This will take time; months, a year.
8) If she is worth it, and continues counseling, Expect no marriage discussion for at least one year. After one year, re-evaluated before setting a wedding date. This means no wedding for minimum of 1-1/2 years.
9) There are other nice ladies out there. Ones that keep their promises and will keep a vow.
10) Work on your training, career, projects, hobbies, and be with family and friends. Discover yourself. Become a nice guy.
Everyone has already answered this but I have a few experiences to share with you...
My aunt's boyfriend cheated on her but she married him anyway. He continued to cheat on her, divorced her, and married the girl he was cheating with. He cheated on her, too.
My friend's fiance cheated on her, she found out but gave him another chance. She married him then found out one child later that he was still cheating. She found out by contracting herpes from him, which he got from an underage prostitute. She then went from the frying pan into the fire, dating a man who continuously cheated on her until she ended it.
Why did your fiancee do it? She said it was a mistake but why did she cheat, and cheat so much?
The fact you found out before she confessed is a bad sign.
If you do take her back, give it a lot of time, counseling and have her prove herself to you. But just be warned - she is looking for something that you weren't giving her.
Good luck.
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