How to deal with a cheating husband?

i have just found out my husband had an affair with a woman at his work place. i found out by his cell phone bill. i called the number that was on there alot. finally after a mnth the truth came out. we are trying to work this out but i can not get ouver it. he is always telling me he is sorry and that it was a huge mistake. and it will never happen again.. how can i believe him?? i guess what bothers me the most is that i do not know what they did. is that wrong to want to know? should i give up on trying to figure that out?it is just so hard sometimes to even look at him because all i keep thinging is what did he say to her did he look at her that way did he touch her that way. please help me this is reaaly driving me crazy. ido not think i can get over it.How to deal with a cheating husband?
I personally think that the person who did the cheating, if he wants to be forgiven, has an obligation to answer all the questions his spouse asks. It makes no sense to me that you should be able to ';get over it'; without your husband having to go through a long period of transparency, total honesty, and accountability.How to deal with a cheating husband?
Good call catching the phone bill. For sanity sake, forget about wanting to know what they did, trust me it will only make it worse, ie. ';why don't you do that with me'; ';we never did that'; etc...... Better to leave sleeping dogs lie. Im always one to give a 2nd chance, you blow it your gone no highway option in which case if he does ramrod him for everything in the divorce and email him the Sara Evans song ';When you were cheating'; or Travis Tritts's ';Here's a quarter';.
He's sorry only cuz he got caught. He made the huge mistake in being so stupid he got caught. If they are adults they did what adults do when they are having an affair. I would separate for a while. That way if he is going to have an affair he will have the breathing room to do it and then he'll know your really not the one for him and do you the favor of leaving so you can have a faithful guy.
The feelings of curiosity you are having are normal. If you don't think you can get over it, you probably can't. I thought I could and I tried but wasn't able to.


I wish you the best during this painful time. It's too bad your husband didn't consider that what he did would cost him his family and life as he knew it.
I am really sorry but I have absolutely no comprehension of why someone would stay in a marriage in which their partner had had a relationship with someone else. Either a marriage is a marriage with all that involves: love, fidelity, honour, trust, sex, fun, commitment - or it's just some half hearted version of a real one. He broke the bond. he was prepared to do that to you. Why stay?
If you can't get over it, then move on. Why are you torturing yourself? He is going to do it again anyway. Know how I know? Because you are still with him even though you know he cheats. The message that sends to him is that it is ok to cheat....my wife doesn't think she is worth more than a cheating husband. How does a life of misery sound to you?
Get some counseling. You will have to start over with him again and that can take some time. Trust will have to be rebuilt and that is not easy. you need some tools to work with to fix this thing.





Get help
You can not control him. You can only control yourself. Don't think. They are just thoughts. Let it go. Know in your heart that you are good and in your own control.





Try reading ';A New Earth'; by Eckhart Tolle
Leave him. There is no ';deal with';.


Kick him out bc he will do it again once he knows you will take him back.
ask what they did.





will your questions dig even deeper? will the details decrease the hurt?
You are never going to get over it. I been there before and i still think about it
cut off his balls he wont do it again
I've been thru that same thing and I demanded to know everything. I would rather go thru all the pain once than get an installment when I find out something else that they did. Its really hard, believe me. Everyday you feel your heart breaking in a million pieces. The trust may take a long time to come back, if it will ever ( it depends on you) you will go thru a process of pain, hurt and even denial. The good thing is, nothing lasts forever and that to shall pass...in time. It will come. I am healing now and its not instant but the pain is not as intense as it was before. Be strong :-)
You have to make the choice to stay or go. What he done was wrong, and you should not have to live in torment over it. If you decide to stay, make sure that you will be able to forgive him and move on. If you don't, then years from now you'll still be obsessed with this and throwing it in his face every time you get the chance. That won't be fair to him , or you. You have every right to be hurt, mad, and confused. If you decide to go, then he has no one to blame but himself. You say that you want to work it out, but maybe deep down you don't. You may not be able to forget what he done.
So sorry, this is part of the huge devastation that comes from cheating. Of course you want to know all of the details and I cannot say that I blame you. Another thing you need to consider is that if they are still working together, there is a chance this affair will continue, only he will learn to hide it from you better. He needs to come clean with you and answer all your questions, though I doubt he will. Don't do this alone, get into counselling to help you get through this. Good luck to you!
I got the truth in installments. Believe me that is the worst way to get your information. She never told me the truth I had to find out what they did on my own. If I had known everything up front I would have left. They always lie so what's the point in asking. It is incredibly difficult to work through all of the pain that you didn't deserve. The mental images haunt you forever so if you don't think you can get over it then leave now. You will think about it every single day. Everyday is a fight to keep control of yourself. Now it is a matter of survival.
problem is, he still works with the woman, even if he says he won't do it again, you can't believe him, there is still time before work, at lunch, on breaks, after work, that they can ';mess around';, plus, chats during work...!!!





I would make him quit his job, get a new job... or, work in a different department away from her...





if he's not willing to give you the details you need, from start to finish, he's not trying hard enough to keep you as his wife...





good luck...





personally, I'd divorce... he will only do it again, being sneakier next time...





Mary