What would you do in this situation?

I have been seeing /dating this girl for 9 months now and and we see each other a few hours a day every day except monday's and friday's. we are very serious were talking about moving in together in a few months she has a little girl and I get along with her real good and things seemed to be going good last night I was over and after dinner the three of us were on the couch and she fell asleep and her daughter was playing with her phone and while pushing buttons the text page came up and I just looked and she had been texting a guy that I don''t know just the basics how have you been and what are you up to tonite and she said she was hanging at home but sundays are the night that we set aside for us why she didn't add that she was hanging with her boy friend was weird and then he was like we should get together soon now the problem is she was like ok I'm free mondays and fridays now I'm upset and asked her about it and she's like well I would never hang out with him one on one but he's part of a group of friends that she's known for a long time and if it was a group thing then she would hang out so why would she let him know that those are the days when she's free and it just happens to be days that we don't see each other? anyways we went back and forth with it and in the end she stood firm on the fact that she never wants to hurt me and she would never hang out with him one on one so what do I do she has what she claims to be a habit of erasing texts from her phone she claims it's just a habit but is it her way of covering her tracks? cause shes like you can look at my phone anytime you want but I already know that she erases stuff in the end she was sorry and doesn't want to lose me and loves me and I'm just not sure what to think she just texted me that she deleted numbers out of her phone not because I asked but because I didn't and she realizes that she don't need those people in her life and she wants it to be just the three of us I'm just not real sure it seemes like she got caught and is trying to hold on I do love her and her daughter but were talking about living together and having children but at this point we still can go our separate ways as were not married and have no kids together and now is the time rather than down the road when we have kids to have to deal with cheating and stuff I do understand that she knew guy's before me and I've never told her to not talk to them but to find out that she telling a guy that she's free on the days that we don't see each-other is hard to get over and she was the one that picked the days when we don't see each other mondays she hang out at her grandparents house cause they watch her girl and fridays she is at home with her mom and daughter it really just isn't making any sense and I'm not to sure what to do or feelWhat would you do in this situation?
It sounds like you want to believe her because you probably love her.





It's a big risk either way. You could lose this feeling or be hurt later down the track.





But which would be harder to live with?





I think you're hurting right now though.What would you do in this situation?
Where there any messages in that conversation that made it sound like a romantic relationship?


From what she's said, those messages could certainly be exactly what she said they are. If it's a group of friends that she gets together with, that's fine. It might not be a bad thing for you to meet this guy as well. (If he meets you and possibly befriends you, if he has any interest in her romantically, this may cool them off).


Have there been any other indications that she may be seeing someone else?


If this is the only instance, and there's no indication in those messages of romantic intent, then you need to trust that she's telling you the truth.


That being said - you should hold off on having children together for at least a year after you co-habitate (to ensure that you're over the ';honeymoon'; period and that the relationship is going well.


Also, many areas have ';common-law'; status at some point - which puts you in a ';married'; status legally.


Also, don't look at adopting her daughter unless you actually get married at some point (when you adopt the daughter, you're liable for child support if you two end up breaking up).





Again, it sounds as if she's telling you the truth. You two must trust each other if this relationship is to have the potential to develop into something permanent.





Best of luck!!
I went through the same thing with my husband. Its kinda a tough situation because on the one hand you want to be sure that she is being open and honest and on the other you need her to know that your respect and trust her and that you except that she has friends and a life outside of your relationship. I would reccomend letting her go with her friends and maybe go with her and meet them or at least drop her off and introduce yourself that way there's no misunderstanding about her relationship status and she still feels free to hang out with other people. Its always hard to let go of someone you care about but remember if you ever want to have a more serious relationship you will need to be able to trust her completely. Plus if you handle it well and are not too over protective she will feel more able to be open and honest with you in the future.
As hard as it is, I'd leave. It's too suspicious. She seems to have an answer for all your questions to convince you that nothing is wrong, yet you sound like your gut instinct is telling you something. Listen to your instincts. Exactly how much do you know about her, have you met all her friends and does she introduce you to them as 'my boyfriend' or push you to the background?