Friday, August 20, 2010

PTSD from husband cheating on me?! help!?

My husband cheated on me while I was pregnant.I talked to him about it and agreed to try and work it out, but it has been so hard. I feel so betrayed and hurt. Our baby is 9 mos old and I just can't seem to get over it. I am so sad.





Someone suggested I might have ';Post Traumatic Stress Disorder'; (PTSD) from it...like, it was a trauma in my life and I can't get over it...?





I'm not too familiar with it and could really use some advice. Anyone ever dealt with a cheating spouse like this and felt the same way? How do I cope? PTSD from husband cheating on me?! help!?
Turn Your Lights Down Low- You clearly don't know what you're talking about. Just because you copy and pasted from the DSM-IV, doesn't make you an expert. YES, PTSD after something like this is possible. I'm an infidelity couples counselor, and I've seen it in patients. People think of PTSD, and they normally think of combat PTSD. It isn't always like that. What is a ';traumatic event'; differs for everyone. Is your spouse cheating on you traumatic? Yes! For many people it is. For some, it isn't a trauma big enough to trigger PTSD. It depends on the person, but it does happen, and I have seen it. There is no clear cut list of ';this is traumatic'; and ';this is not traumatic.'; A colleague of mine consulted with me on a case where a teenager was diagnosed with PTSD from being lost in a park when he was 5 years old. Being lost in a park doesn't sound very traumatic to some, but to others, it is traumatic! Furthermore, abuse is definitely considered traumatic, and many professionals consider infidelity to be a form of emotional abuse. I really wish people on here were more careful about their answers, rather than speaking without any thought research or education on the subject. Yes, you can develop PTSD from an event like this, it's very common.





One thing you don't mention is flashbacks nightmares or night terrors. This is one of the basic core hallmarks of PTSD. We really do not diagnose patients without PTSD unless they are having flashbacks, nightmares, or nightmares about the event. It's the classic symptom of PTSD, to relive the traumatic event over and over again. You don't mention it, so I can't say for certain, and you really give very little details, but it is possible. You could also be experiencing depression or anxiety related to it. It all depends. Regardless, you need to get into counseling. If you aren't already, get into couples counseling, as well as individual counseling. Obviously your relationship needs worked on, but you also need to work on your own issues with dealing with this. Even if you don't have PTSD, you need help in moving on from this. I hope that helps.PTSD from husband cheating on me?! help!?
This isn't even close to PTSD, this is a normal reaction. I can't believe someone even suggested PTSD.





The diagnostic criteria for PTSD, per the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders IV (Text Revision) (DSM-IV-TR), may be summarized as:[1]





A. Exposure to a traumatic event


B. Persistent reexperience (e.g. flashbacks, nightmares)


C. Persistent avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma (e.g. inability to talk about things even related to the experience, avoidance of things and discussions that trigger flashbacks and reexperiencing symptoms fear of losing control)


D. Persistent symptoms of increased arousal (e.g. difficulty falling or staying asleep, anger and hypervigilance)


E. Duration of symptoms more than 1 month


F. Significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning (e.g. problems with work and relationships.)
It's really, really hard to get a diagnosis of PTSD from an experienced psychiatrist, but that is where you need to go for help if you think you have it.





If you do have it (or any one of many other mental health issues), the recommended treatment is medication.





So, please contact a mental health provider today. Do it for you and do it for the baby.
A lot of thoughtless and worthless men do this when they cannot get it at home because the wife is with pups,you will have your hormones all over the place afterwards and all sorts of things can plague you without the thoughtless actions of your espoused prat.Most women give them a second chance,fortunately my daughter binned her husband as being surplus to requirements,she said she could only respect strong men and that is not the way a strong man behaves.
Please do not compare your painful feelings with PTSD.





PTSD is ';shell shock'; and ';combat fatigue';. Women can get it also, but generally it is from a brutally violent rape or seeing someone die.





You have not experienced these things. You're hurt and mistrustful.
they said marriage wont last without TRUST


okay what if u give 100% trust to your partner


and time pass his cheating you,


men's cheat if they knew that u have alot of trust with them


suggest dont full trusted


i love my husband so much but i dont give fully trust


love and trust are difference,men never understand woman needs....
I don't think you have PTSD, you're just hurt and betrayed. That's normal when you've been cheated on. You may not ever be able to make your marriage work now that there is not trust. I think it's great that you are trying, though.
absolutely get into therapy. PTSD can most certainly be an issue- regardless, this is an event you are having difficulty getting over or moving past. Therapy will help.





Good luck to you and your family.
It could be a combination of things and experiences you've had in the last year .. try a councilor ... it can help .. all of you.
you'll never feel at ease until you forgive him. if you can't forgive him alone, try counseling.
See a therapist.
NEVER EVER take a cheater back! Your gonna regret this one.
dump his ***!
I can almost assure you that you don't have PTSD. What causes PTSD is any event that is life-threatening or that severely compromises the emotional well-being of an individual. Such events often include either experiencing or witnessing a severe accident or physical injury, receiving a life-threatening medical diagnosis, being the victim of kidnapping or torture, exposure to combat or to a natural disaster, other disaster (for example, plane crash) or terrorist attack, being the victim of rape, mugging, robbery or assault; enduring physical, sexual, emotional or other forms of abuse, as well as involvement in civil conflict.





You're more or less suffering from marital break down. Even though you've stated to your husband that you'd try and work things out you can't move beyond being hurt and betrayed. You don't have trust in your marriage any longer. Even though you may feel that you've forgiven him you've not forgotten what he's done. It's very easy to forgive someone when they've hurt us but it's always hard to forget the hurt we've suffered. Unless you can get beyond that you're not going to be happy and you will feel the sadness and depressed.





If you've decided to stay with him because of your child, that's really not a reason to stay. I'm not encouraging you to seek a divorce what I am saying is you need you time. You need to remove yourself from where you are and him to have time to think and heal. If you have a family member or a friend you can stay with for a while then you need to do so. If that's not an option ask him to leave since he's the one that created the problem, if he wants his marriage to work then he needs to do whatever to get it back on track.





I'd also suggest that you speak with someone in the medical field to help you get beyond what you're feeling and thinking. You may also need to go to a marriage counselor with your husband. Perhaps if he explains why he felt the need to seek comfort outside of the marriage it may help you get the answers that you lack. Him cheating on you during the most beauitful time in a marriage is crazy. It's already done and hopefully over now, you have to decide what you want from your soiled marriage.
Im not sure if it would qualify for ptsd unless maybe if its highly extreme such as it effects your daily life, your in constant tears over it, you have trouble functioning on a normal level and it takes over your every thought. Bt instead of giving it a name, its defiently stress. You tried working it out but seems like maybe it was the last straw,.


has he made any changes to SHOW that he wont be doin it again? Does he not put himself in those situations? Does he not go out without you? If he's making chnages, Id encourage you to seek counceling and really do all you can to get through this. But if nothing has really changed, your still holding the baby while he's who knows where....maybe take a break but dont deny access to your child.

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