does he think im going to snoop in his place? he says the reason is because he feels like its almost like moving in and he likes his privacy. he tells me he wants to marry me, but how can this be if he wont even give up his key?
years ago he dated a girl and he was moving in with her and proposing after 1 year, and with me its like pulling teeth just to get the key! and she cheated on him! please any advice, what is the big deal
he trusts me 100% we have had trust issues in the past but with me trusting him not the other way around. i mean i really have had to believe everything he has told me or else we would break up because i dont deal with cheating, he owes me at least the key. my trust is gained a lot more , why no key?I asked for the key to my boyfriends place and he said NO what is the problem?
Just give him his space, it will be okay. As long as you are not married- he has every right to not give you a key. I don't think it's a trust issue, but I don't know him. So like I said, just give him time and when he's ready it will probably happen. Don't rush him.I asked for the key to my boyfriends place and he said NO what is the problem?
woo hooo girl, open your eyes! He's either got a suit case stuffed with girly videos or a black book with tween boys numbers he doesn't want you to see. If you are as trustworthy as you say, dump him. Why should he give you a key and ruin the chance at his freedom? He probably has someone on the side too he doesn't want you walkin in on. I know that sounds harsh but only a guy with things to hide that is not going to ever ask you to marry him would say no so adamently! dump him and don't be so quick to get into a serious relationship.
Him giving you a key is a big deal and it would be like moving in together. He's obviously not ready for that type of committment, especially since you say he's been there and done that before. He's probably wary. He doesn't ';owe'; you a key. His reasons for not giving you the key are valid and you need to respect that. You are being pushy and if you don't back off, you are going to push him away permanently.
If he wants to up his key, he will.. If my boyfriend demanded a key, I wouldn't want to give it either. He doesn't owe you his key or anything else.. You acting like you own him may be the reason he doesn't want to give you a key.
You asked him for the key? Why?
Take him for his word ';No,'; which simply means no key. There's not much to it really, he's right, it is like moving in. Does he have a roommate? It is definitely an invasion of privacy then. Even if he doesn't have a roommate, he needs his apartment to remain a ';safehouse,'; a safe haven where he can return to his male abode (think bachelor pad). After you get married it will be a ';home'; - a joint/married abode. While he's still single let him have his sanctuary, to keep his piece of mind, and to keep the peace between you. Making the journey from singleness to engagement %26amp; marriage is a process and a journey that most men want to make, but typically don't want it to happen too fast.
And maybe there's another reason for restricting access to his apartment -- because the lease agreement says that he can't share (maybe he would have to pay more).
Just wait him out. When the time is right -- when he is ready to give in %26amp; call the preacher, he'll give you a key to his place %26amp; to his heart! Best of luck and congratulations to you two! May God Bless You all the rest of your days!!!
Hi honey!
He is hiding something. If the two of you are planning on being married, you've been together for 2 years, but he says ';it would feel as though your moving in?'; SO WHAT! (to him) You are his fiance', you should have a key at this point, I have ALWAYS given my keys to my X-boyfriends, even my X-husband! And they snooped, but I had nothing to hide, so no worries. I know this must hurt you, but babe, it is a big deal, that's your fiance.' How is he going to be when you two get married? It could be porn, it could be someone else, it could be a drug problem, but it is something, and you need to find out. whenever you get any kind of chance, you sneak the key, run to the nearest place, and make a copy! I've done that, and yeah, I walked in on him in bed with another! But I found out, and I left him (after i beat the crap out of him) hang in there! It's time to buy a wig and sunglasses, and snoop that place out! I also found one of my boyfriends in bed with a man, and we lived together!! I had a key! Jerk eh? good luck!
Honey he is not serioius about you. Trust this old hag on this one. Pull back a little bit, give him space. Don't answer all of his calls. See how he acts. But on a whole, he doesn't trust you. Beware Beware Beware
back off...he's not ready to go that far with you....respect his wishes ....he doesn't owe you a key, he's not married to you yet...
why are you making such a big deal out of it?
He doesn't HAVE to give YOU a key to his place. You don't OWN him, you're not MARRIED to him. That is HIS place not YOUR'S. Stop being so possessive or he is going to dump you...and he'd be right doing it.
it just sound like he just need his space, but if you truly feel
that this will become issues then talk to him and let him know
how you feel about the fact that he wont give you a key,
but dont make such a fuss about it.
Dont get upset over the key. Act normally. First you should know whether he is serious about you or he is just having fun until he gets another gf
think about the way you asked it. were you too forceful?
NO KEY, BECAUSE YOU ASKED! PEOPLE HAVE TO BE WILLING TO GIVE UP THEIR PRIVACY AND YOU HAVING ACCUSED HIM OF TRUST ISSUES, WILL MAKE HIM THINK THAT YOU ARE UNTRUSTWORTHY. Because people do have a tendency to ACCUSE on what they are doing.
Now, I am not saying you are untrustworthy, I am saying that he has to 'feel' that for you to give you a key, NOT YOU ASKING OR DEMANDING IT. He did it in the past and it resulted badly. So, just be the loving person you are and wait for the day that he 'gives' it to you. That way, you will 'know' that it is sincere, not because you nagged him.
Why is access to his place equated to you trusting him. Sounds like you don't and you DO WANT TO SNOOP AROUND! He probably has nothing to hide (remember, he has been there and done that key thing), he just does not want to be pushed. Guys don't like that. YOU NEED TO CHILL, BECAUSE OF HIS PAST, HIS TOLERANCE LEVEL MAY BE LOW AND YOU WILL PUSH HIM AWAY!
GOOD LUCK
For once I agree with the wemen...give the men some of the space.
It's probably difficult for him to go through another relationship like the previous. He is being cautious, I wouldn't worry too much about it. It is his apartment he will give you a key when he is ready, asking probably just freaked him out. Tell him that you understand that he needs his privacy, you just thought that it would be a good idea in case you wanted to surprize him or something along that line. Give him a couple of days to settle down. You have to be sensitive to his previous situation.
it sounds as if he is making sure he takes his time to know what he's ready for and not ready for......to make sure he knows what he wants in the relationship, like he's guarding his heart from being hurt again. just give him his space. he'll come around eventually and plus, thats his place. not yours. he doesnt have to no matter what if he doesnt want to.
Ummm. If it were me I would be wondering what he was hiding....but then I do have a suspicious mind....and it has helped me many times get to the truth. Maybe it is time for a little snoopy woopy...Do you stay over at his place at all?
If you have never been there then he is definitely hiding something. If he is fine with you being there a lot, staying over and even being there if he is not there, then it is just a committment issue and he is not ready to give you a key just yet.
giving out that key is a big step and very symbolic for some people. He might be a little more cautious because of the last relationship not working out so he wants to make sure and go a little slower. I dont think it's s a trust issue. I think it's more about him not being ready to move in together. Also if it is a big deal to him maybe he wants to give it to you in his own time in a romantic way. Kind of like if you decided to ASK for the engagement ring.
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