Partners cheat for very selfish reasons and when it comes to crunch time they generally try to cover their backs for damage limitation. He has been having a great time with his proverbial cake and eat it.
What happens now the cat is out the bag is going to be painful for everyone. The best advice I can give you is to get him to be honest and make a choice between you and your son and the 'other person'.
If he decides he wants to try to put things right with you, then you are going to have to find it in your heart to forgive and put it behind you. Life as you knew it will not be the same, but you could get over it with a big effort.
Ask yourself if you could ever trust him again, and is he really worth it.
When partners choose to stray they really are giving no thought to the consequences of their actions, it's time for you to be strong and make him face up to how he has put your relationship in jeopardy. If he knows that he may really seriously loose you and the security of a family life, he might decide it's too much for him to give up, on the other hand he may need to find out for himself that the grass isn't really greener on the other side of the fence.
My first husband cheated and wouldn't admit to it, he insulted my intelligence by not owning up. I made him go knowing full well that he would come back all sorry and he did just that when it was out of his system and things got tough for him without me. I forgave him because I loved him, but I never forgot the hurt he caused and in fact neither did he, he very much regretted it and learnt after much upheaval that what he had was better than what he thought he was missing out on. Idiot !!!!How do deal with a cheating husband after 13 years?
Tell his mother he screwed up and it's over and stop begging you. If she wants to beg someone, she can beg her son to straighten his s.h.i.t. out and act like a real man! Then throw him out, divorce him and tell him he had one chance and he blew it and one chance is all he gets.
If you sure about your facts then divorce him...I know it sounds harsh and empty but it's for your own good...believe me I know many married couples who've been married for so long and the one cheats on the other and they end up living a very unhealthy marriage...so do what you have to do
Very sorry for your agony!! THe pain here is very rotten and hard to gain comfort. I would have to move on, as most often this will hapne again. I wish you the best here as it is for sure a no fun situation.
eeeewwww he was almost thirty when you were sixteen?
Sadly alot of men will never own up unless they are caught red handed but to be fair you should give yourself some credit for listenting to your instincts and your gut and sticking by it. Women just know when men are lying, they just know...and there are those who choose to put a lid over it and others who face it, so well done to do the latter.....although it doesnt stop it hurting.
My advice (coming from a cheating partner) is to back off, give yourself some space and time (maybe even coucilling to figure out what it is you want from this) dont force yourself to make any crazy decisions now that you may later regret. You really need some time out to figure things out, and slowly but surely the pieces will come together. I would reccommend councillin cos if you do decide to forgive him you will need some help to get through this.
Alot of the time men cheat to escape reality and im sure she means nothing to him other than an escape route. Try not to take it too personally and thi nk about you now, he has made his bed, now he needs to lie in it and right now you dont owe him anything.
Time out for you!!!
Silly man!!!
Until he tells you whats going on theres no way you can get over it. You need to talk to him and tell him how much not knowing what hes been doing is hurting you. If he is not cheating then there is something he is doing and doesn't want to talk about....You need to talk to him and convince him whatever it is he can tell you and you both can discuss it and decide what needs to be done. I know you dont want to hear this but it also sounds like you are making alor of it up....try to stop judging until you really know whats going on...it will help him be able to talk to you about it...Sorry you are going through whatever this is and hope he ends the mystery soon.
It sounds like he's going through the stereotypical male full-blown mid-life crisis.
There are loads of sites on the internet about infidelity, signs of cheating, etc. (Google ';infidelity';. The website beyondaffairs.com is particularly good.)
Since he refuses to be open and honest with you (not addressing his late nights/ early mornings, not showing you his cell phone -- which he could easily ';clean'; of telltale texts and telephone numbers, by the way!), it's up to you to decide what you need in your marriage (honesty? fidelity?) and want to do about the recent changes in his behavior.
Do you want to staying married? Do you think your marriage can be saved? Are you (with him) willing to go to counseling to save it?
Could you live with a liar and a cheater? Is this the example of male behavior you want your son to have? What kind of a role model is your husband for his son?
There are couples who survive infidelity and are able to regain a considerable amount of trust and respect in their relationship.
However, staying together for the sake of the children when the marriage is emotionally or physically abusive, when it's full of lies, distrust and disrespect, is far more detrimental.
These are very early days for you, no wonder you're still in shock.
Try to take care of yourself. Find a good lawyer, see what your and your son's rights are. Surround yourself with people who love and care for you (close friends, family, minister). Is there counseling in your area? It's really helpful to talk out your feelings with a trained professional.
Bottom line is your husband is being dishonest (whatever else he's doing). That's not what he promised when you married. Plus: he is 100 percent responsible for his behavior. (Don't make yourself crazy trying to figure out the ';why';.) It is NOT your ';fault';, period.
Good luck.
It sounds like you two have hit a rough spot financially but that doesn't mean that he has the right to take it out on you.
Why would you need an ';I'm sorry'; from him? What you should want is a change in his behavior.
Are you two still sexually active? If you are then it seems that he is exposing you to STDs.
You can also look at the cell phone bill and get information from that.
You are letting him walk on you---I'm sorry if that sounds harsh but it's true.
He's going to do whatever you let him do.
Tell him you are going to get a divorce if he doesn't straighten out his crap. That really is all you can do. His parents need to be talking to him not you.
I dont understand this... you expect a guy to remain the same throughout his life... and now you want him to give you his friends nos. so that you can call them and find out??? You are not his mother... I have a reputation within my friends i would want my woman calling my friends asking them if I was with them...
You should have thought about this when you dated a man old enough to be your father... are you sure he was in love with you??? If what you say is the truth then pack your bags and leave... He's got another young p*ssy to bang...
Just tell him that if after 13 years, he can not be honest with you, then you and he do not even have a relationship. Tell him that if he does not want to sell the house, then take another job and try to save the marriage too. Tell him that it is up to him to try to make things work, because you can not do it alone. Ask him how he would have felt if it were you doing the cheating!!
what in h*ll was a 29 year old man doing with a 16 year old girl anyway??? That would be a red flag for me!!! Maybe he only like young girls!!!
never a issue with sex now that's your opinion stop knowing everything because right now you don't know anything for sure. Are you still having sex with him? he probably has some fetish or fantasy that this other woman his satisfying while you sit in some dreamland thinking the little sex you have is great.
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